Where Nan Is – Stephanie Knight

 

Gentle patter on window pane

Steaming mug in hand

Lounging in the lounge room

Crocheted blanket on my lap

Smiling faces framed on wall

Radio static AM magic

Rifts of time and passage open up

History all around

Blanket snug like own Nan’s arms

Familiar, comfortable

Family home

Clocks ticking counting down

Wasting the hours away

Rain drops slide down

In time with my tears

It’s musty here

If I smell the air

There once was a bird

But it no longer chirps

The sound of a train marks the hour

Upon a small table lies

A forever unfinished puzzle

The ornaments are all dusty

There is no longer light here

Creaking sounds of footsteps fading

No more happiness to be found

Living room void of life

Here I sit in my strife

Unable to reach out to you now

The puzzle will never reveal itself

Everyone has long left this place

This room where I once played

Building card houses and towns

Where you once harshly frowned

At my cheeky youthful games

Chided me in my mischief

This place where you held me

Comforted and taught me

How to be strong like you

The room is nothing now

Gone, dilapidated and memory

As are you in my mind

A woman stronger and greater

Than I have ever known

Yet know you I did not

For as a child I had not yet learnt

That time was fleeting

Or how much I loved you

So just like the puzzle

You left behind

I never got to see

The finished picture

The whole of you

I missed my chance

And I miss you

Because just like grandad

Called you

You were a ruby for sure

Confounding and beautiful

I hold you precious

In my heart

But my memory

Of you, my Nan

Has faded into grey

That is why I sit here now

In this way

Recalling what I can of you

Tears and rain pelting down

Gentle patter on the window pane

 

Copyright Stephanie Knight 2013

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